Making A Fresh Start In A New City

(It is 20 minutes before close. A man comes in alone and demands to be seated in the closed half of the restaurant. He insists this is the only ‘real’ part of the restaurant. My coworker takes his initial order then sends me over to continue with him. He’s ordered something that only comes as an add-on to an entrée, but he wants it first while he’s deciding on the entrée. This is no problem and I go to drop off his drink.)

Customer: “Limes are very precious in this city. So precious. Do you have any limes?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I can get you some if you like.”

Customer: “Yes, both lemon and lime are so precious.”

(I fetch him some.)

Me: “Did you decide on an entrée this evening or do you still need a few minutes?”

Customer: “What time do you close?”

Me: “10 pm.”

Customer: “[City] is terrible! Nothing stays open. If we were in a different city you’d be open till midnight at least.”

Me: “Well, they do stay open in some areas where there’s things around them that are open later like movie theatres. But we find here people don’t really come in for dinner so late. Did you need another minute with the menus?”

Customer: “This city is terrible. I hate this place so much. All the stores are awful. Everything is awful.”

(Another guest is trying to hail me so I politely excuse myself from the still-ranting man. A few minutes later I bring him the add-on he wanted as a starter.)

Customer: *in a demanding tone of voice* “Is it cold?!”

Me: *glancing at the clearly steaming food* “No, sir. It’s hot.”

Customer: “If you’re sure.”

Me: “Did you decide on an entrée? I can get them cooking it while you’re eating.”

Customer: “I’ll have chicken.”

Me: *thinking of the dozen diverse items on the menu that contain chicken* “Chicken, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, but only if it’s fresh. It needs to be really fresh! You need to give it the smell test. If you haven’t stuck your nose into the burger it’s not really fresh! If it’s not fresh I’ll just send it right back!”

Me: *thinking that we’ve at least narrowed it down to the four chicken burger options* “Absolutely, sir. I’ll triple check with the kitchen, but our chicken is generally really fresh. Do you know which of the chicken burgers you’d like?”

Customer: “No, no, no! You’re not listening! You have to listen to your customers! It . Must. Be. Fresh. I know it’s not! I eat here all the time and it’s not. This place is terrible. All the restaurants in this city are terrible.”

Me: “I’m sorry if you’ve had a bad experience, sir. I can tell you that our chicken today is very fresh. Is there a particular burger you’d like?”

Customer: “I’ve called head office and left a message for the CEO, you know. They didn’t care about freshness. No one cares about freshness. You’re not even listening! You have to listen to your customers! You know what, f*** it! I’ll just take this to go.”

(I go get him a take out box and he puts the hot food in that, dumps the salad out onto the table and the floor and storms out. He paid for the add-on and even left me a one cent tip.)