I’ve Just Been Planted Here

(I’ve been working at my job for about a week now. I’m in the garden section of our store, something I know next to nothing about, and generally only cash people out. This happens while I’m watering the plants before we close down the section.)

Customer: “Miss, can you tell me about the differences between these two types of cacti?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m a recent hire, and I don’t know much about our plants yet.”

Customer: “Well, you’re here, so you need to answer my question.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m still learning this section. I did not expect to be placed here when I was hired, and I’m usually only a cashier.”

Customer: “But I have a question; you have to answer it! You can’t work in a section you don’t know anything about!”

Me: “Well, seeing as how my boss put me here, yes, I can. I really know nothing about the plants. I don’t even know where everything is yet, and I’m only watering tonight because our usual guy called out.”

Customer: “They wouldn’t make you do a job you don’t know! You just don’t want to help me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can call someone who knows more about these things, but I assure you, I do not.”

Customer: “BUT YOU’RE WATERING! YOU MUST BE A GARDEN EXPERT!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t even be trusted to keep a goldfish alive; I promise you, this is not a normal part of my job.”

Customer: “BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW! YOU ARE IN THE PLANTS! YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT THEM!”

Me: “Ma’am, honestly, it took me twenty minutes to figure out the hose. I assure you, you do not want my advice on plant-related things.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I saw a rat in the corner; can you get rid of it?”

Me: *thinking nowhere in my job description does it say I am in charge of getting rid of rats* “Ma’am, we’re outdoors. The rat has as much right to be here as we do. If it gets into the store, I’ll be happy to call maintenance, but otherwise, rats are not included in my job.”

(She walked away after that, still muttering about the rat and how I “must know about these things”!)