He’s (The Great) Beyond Help

(We are discussing social cues in Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility.”)

Professor: “Catherine is incapable of understanding social cues. There are various ways that we act in different situations, and some of them aren’t always appropriate.”

Classmate: “You mean… because some people are rude?”

Professor: “Not exactly. I, for example, have a problem with laughing at funerals.”

Me: “…What?!”

Professor: “It’s not what you think! I was at the funeral of my dearly beloved’s funeral, and while the coffin was there, I looked across the street. There was this strip mall there, and suddenly I saw Bed, Bath…” *dramatic pause* “…and BEYOND!”