Sex Sells; No Refunds

(My best friend and I are texting. We’re both a few months away from graduating middle school. She is terrified of anything remotely sexual, and I’ve said something that apparently crossed her boundaries with that.)

Best Friend: “EW! EEEW!”

Me: “… I am so sorry for this comment, but if this is how you react to sex throughout high school, then you are probably going to have a tough time with losing your virginity.”

Best Friend: “EEEW! I’m keeping that for a while, thank you very much. I only have one and there is no warranty.”

Me: “… Best. Remark. Ever.”