Unfiltered Story #56762

(My virus protection stopped working, because of some problem with the license. After a lot of fuss trying to get the UK helpline for the right department, I come through to the right line. Explaining the problem goes very slow, since the US call handler is having trouble with my accent and I’m having trouble with hers.)

Call handler: I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t seem to have any records of your purchase in our system. If you let my take remote access of your computer, I can have a look at the problem.

Me: Wait, but… how can there be no record? I have the purchased [anti-virus program] on my computer. I definitely paid for a year of cover. They even sent me the license number when I asked.

Call handler: *patronising tone* Ma’am, I need remote access to your computer to diagnose the problem.

(I reluctantly give it, and watch as she clicks on different things. Eventually, she goes to the company website and scrolls down to an advert for computer advice.)

Call handler: So, in order to find out about your problem today, you would need to select our [computer advice] service. That’s £64.99 for a 5min session and [more expensive prices for a longer session].

Me: *confused* What is this? Would this re-download [anti-virus progam] or…?

Call handler: This would be for advice on your problem, ma’am. *Quotes prices again, waving the cursor around the advert.*

Me: Didn’t you say that I’m not on your system though? There’s no record, so I don’t have cover via [anti-virus program]? I’d have to buy it again as well as paying for this advice session?

Call handler: That’s right, ma’am.

Me: *confused* I don’t really see the point then, to be honest. I might as well start from scratch and pick a new anti-virus system.

Call handler: *patronising voice* Ok, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with today, ma’am?

Me: Is there any chance you could tell me how to uninstall the [anti-virus program]? It recommended uninstalling and re-installing when it didn’t recognise my license number, but it won’t let uninstall it from my programs. It just says there’s an error.

Call handler: Yes, I can’t help you with that ma’am. You can’t uninstall it that way. However I can help you through our [computer advice] service. *waves cursor round the advert again*

Me: Oh, I guess that’s all then. Thanks. Bye.

(I’m not exactly tech savvy, but I ended up even more confused than when I started. How can they have no record of my purchase? Why didn’t she care about the license number they sent me? Why would I pay a load of money to fix a program just so I can re-buy it? I ended up trying for the ‘refund and cancel supscription’ option on their site, and got new protection from a different company. Still need to get the original program uninstalled though!)