I run tours around the area from a fancy resort in Jamaica. One of the tours is the exploration of a cave by the beach, which involves a little bit of swimming. I meet the tour group the night before at the resort and explain how it all works.

In the morning, I meet the tour group on the beach and hand out life jackets. A middle-aged woman not dressed for getting wet looks up from her phone, and she seems confused.

Tourist: “What is this for?”

Me: “For the cave swim tour, ma’am.”

Tourist: “You never told me we would have to swim!”

Me: “I explained at the resort that the tour involved exploring swimming into a cave.”

Tourist: “You should have been clearer!”

Me: “Ma’am, the tour is for the exploration of a natural cave that can only be accessed through the ocean. The name of the tour is the ‘Cave Swim Tour’. I don’t know how much clearer I could have been.”

Tourist: “I thought there would be like a guest path or something! What if I needed to use the restroom or stop for a coffee?” 

Me: “…I don’t think this is the tour for you, ma’am.”

(I am going to visit my uncle who lives in an assisted living complex. I am about to turn into the driveway, but there is a lady with an umbrella standing in the middle of the driveway. She sees me indicating and turning to go into the driveway but does not move. Thus, to enter the driveway, I have to manoeuvre the car around her, as to avoid her. I do and, unfortunately, my rear left tyre goes into a shallow pothole. As the pothole is not deep enough to cause any damage to the car or tyre, I drive onwards to the gate where I have to wait for the staff to open the gate to let me in. While I’m waiting, I hear a hard knock on my window; it’s the lady I had to drive around. Figuring she may want a lift, I wind down my glass, only to have her scream at me.)

Lady: “YOU SPLASHED ME AND RUINED MY PANTS!”

Me: *confused look*

Lady: “LOOK AT MY PANTS; THEY’RE RUINED!”

Me: “When did this happen?”

Lady: “When you drove up the driveway.”

Me: “Oh, you mean when the rear of the car went down in the pothole, when I drove around you to get up here?”

Lady: “YES!”

Me: “Well, next time, don’t stand in the middle of a driveway near a water-filled pothole.”

Lady: “YOU IGNORANT YOUNG BOY, MY PANTS ARE RUINED!”

Me: “Well, I’m smart enough to know not to stand in the middle of a driveway where vehicles are passing, and to wait on the pavement for a taxi rather than where you were.”

Lady: “YOU ARE BEING SO IGNORANT!”

(By the time she started her rant again, the gate had opened and I wound up my glass and drove into the complex. Seriously, people, look at your surroundings when you are waiting for transportation. Don’t stand in the middle of a driveway or entrance, move away from large puddles of water, and stay on the edge of the pavement furthest from the road. As a pedestrian, you have to think of your safety first!)