I Pronounce Thee Idiot

, | NY, USA | Right | February 4, 2016

Customer: *over dressed for our grocery store location, and speaking with the sort of tone you normally reserve for children* “Give me three la-Zaa-nya squares, an eggplant salad, and one bru-Skeee-ta.

(The customer throws on a really thick, and sudden accent when pronouncing the food. He smiles at me in a way that makes me think I’m supposed to be impressed by this.)

Me: *punching in the order, and repeating it back using the accepted American pronunciation of the words ‘lasagna ‘ and ‘bruschetta* “Three lasagna squares, one large eggplant salad, one bruschetta.”

Customer: “Bru-Skeeeeh-ta” *he drags out the pronunciation even more*

Me: “One bruschetta.” *I agree, again, as per our store policy*

Customer: *looking self important* “It’s actually an Italian word? See if it were German, you would say it the way you’re saying it, but it’s not. Bru-SKEH-ta. See?”

Me: “If you say so, sir.” *getting his order ready, at this point, I’m too tired to deal with him*

Customer: “It’s just like ‘SPUH-geeh-tee’.” He grins at me.

Me: “Of course, sir.”

Customer: “You look like a nice Italian girl. Don’t you want to learn the language?”

Me: *handing him his food* “I’m a boy, sir.”

(His face dropped, and turned an interesting shade of red. He snatched his food away and spit something in what I could only presume is very overly-pronounced Italian at me, before hurrying away.)

Unable To See Shades Of Grey

| USA | Right | February 4, 2016

(I’ve been a digital designer for quite a while now and surprisingly have little to no issue with customers. This particular customer had been extremely pleasant up until I was finalizing their product.)

Me: “All right, so, here’s the finished product! As soon as payment is sent, I can—”

Customer: “No. No, no, no!”

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “The grey! The grey is way too grey! It was fine before. What did you do?!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that between coloring the lines and now, I have not changed the colors.”

Customer: “You made the grey much too grey! Fix it!”

(I work for around 30 minutes using various saturation and colors to make it less “grey” for the customer. I eventually got frustrated and accidentally sent them the first image I had shown them on accident.)

Me: *realizing what I have done* “Oh, pardon me, sir, I think I sent you—”

Customer: “Yes! Perfect! This is what I wanted! Was that so hard?!”

Me: “Yes… Of course, sir.”

(He sent the payment and was perfectly happy with his “altered” product!)

Rewarding Knowledge

| OH, USA | Right | February 4, 2016

(I work at an arcade. All prizes are either under a counter or on a wall behind us. While stock changes, I know the ticket cost of each prize, and about how many we have. I’m also relatively good at math, and can add and subtract quickly in my head. A customer comes up on a slow day.)

Customer: “If I got [prize], how much would I have left?”

Me: *without pausing* “400. Did you wanna get it?”

Customer: “Uh, sure. How much is [other prize]?”

Me: “225, but we’re actually out of those.”

Customer: “You sure you don’t have any?”

Me: “I’m sure, sir. We have none in the stock room or in the cabinets.”

Customer: “Okay… how about [third prize]?”

Me: “It’s 400.”

Customer: “You know all the prices?”

Me: “Yup, memorized them by accident. Makes it easier to help people, though.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. Uh, can I get two [fourth prizes]?”

Me: “All right, here you go!”

Customer: “How much do I have left?”

Me: “Fifty, so you can get [candy], a bouncy ball, or some [other candy].”

Customer: “Hmm… do you have [candy] in orange?”

Me: “Nope, we only have these three colors.”

Customer: “You know the stock, too?”

Me: “Yep. I check often enough that I know what we do and don’t have.”

Customer: “Awesome. Can I get five [small candies]?”

Me: “Sure!” *I set them on the counter for him*

Customer: “Take them. Anyone who’s figured out how to run prizes this well deserves something.”

(I thanked him as he left. The rest of the day went a lot better after that.)

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