Shopping With Plenty Of Baggage

| Petaluma, CA, USA | Right | February 16, 2016

(I’m out shopping with my mom. We finish getting our items and head to a checkout line. My neighbor, who is a cashier, is working the cash register that we are at. He is finishing up a transaction with the customer in front of us when I hear this joke…)

Neighbor: “All right, sir. Would you like a bag with that? I can give you one from under my eyes.”

An Artistic Response

| Australia | Right | February 16, 2016

(I’m 21 but very short and petite for my age, so I’m used to customers assuming I’m young and inexperienced. I mostly ignore it. Because our job involves cutting fabric for each customer, we’re generally serving them for around five minutes. Most customers tend to strike up a conversation.)

Customer: “So, how long have you been working here?”

Me: “I just passed three years.”

Customer: “Really? I come in here a lot and I’ve never seen you before.”

Me: “Me too. Funny how that happens.”

(She gives me a glare. I decide to start playing along in case she gets angry.)

Me: “I’ve also been studying at university, so I’m not here as often as the other staff.”

Customer: “You’re at university?!”

Me: “Yes. I’ve just finished and will graduate next month.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Did you enjoy your little arts degree, then?”

(I’m incredibly offended by this.)

Me: “I’ll actually be receiving a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in business information systems. It’s a very interesting field that involves using information technology to streamline business processes, with the end goal being that the added value will allow the business to remain competitive or gain an advantage. It’s the discipline where information technology meets information management in a business context.”

(She shut her trap after that.)

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Exchange Rate From Stupid?

| Right | February 15, 2016

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| Right | February 15, 2016
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Frozen In A Repetitive Cycle

| USA | Right | February 15, 2016

(I work in the meat department, and we regularly cut prepackaged meats for customers. An elderly lady walks up and sets something on the counter.)

Me: “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I need these cut in half!”

(She then gestures at what she set on the counter: frozen Cornish game hens.)

Me: “I can thaw those out and cut them in half for you, but it will take a bit of time.”

Customer: “No! I want them cut in half while they’re frozen! I don’t want them thawed!”

(Normally I could do such a thing, and have cut frozen chickens and turkeys in half with a bandsaw. The Cornish game hens, however, are far too small to safely cut with the bandsaw.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the game hens are too small—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut them in half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. They’re frozen—”

Customer: “So use that big saw! I know you cut frozen meat here!” *gestures at the bandsaw*

Me: “Yes, frozen things that are big enough to safely cut. These hens are too s—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut the chickens in half!”

Me: “The hens are too small—”

Customer: “Just cut them!”

Me: “I am not cutting my fingers off over a game hen! They’re too small to put on the bandsaw! I can either thaw them and cut them, or you’ll have to take them home whole.”

(The customer took them whole, still grumbling that I was being “negative” and should just cut the hens despite the very serious risk of also cutting my fingers off. A few days later I was told by a manager that she attempted to complain that I wouldn’t help her and had a bad attitude – but he sided with me not cutting my fingers off!)

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