There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People

, , , , | Right | March 28, 2008

(As with most customers, once you’ve told them to “right click” on something one time, they can’t help but ask you about it every few seconds…this was a special instance.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, I need you to click on the icon for me.”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

Customer: “Alright.”

(5 minutes later…)

Me: “Ok, go ahead and click on that button for me.”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

(5 more minutes later…)

Me: “Can you click on that icon for me ma’am?”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

Customer: “You already said that like three times!”

 

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How Gluttons Complain

, | Right | March 28, 2008

(I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)

Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”

(The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)

Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*

Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”

Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*

Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”

Customer: *still chowing down* “This is just awful.”

(The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)

Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*

Worker: “Would you like something else?”

Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*

(The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)

My Wife: *not very quietly* “What a b****!

Worker: *smiles at my wife*

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Yet Still They Come

| Right | March 28, 2008

(Due to a power outage we had to close our store. The lights were all out and there were 2 large green bristol board signs displaying “CLOSED, NO POWER, SORRY”. A woman walks up, walks through the entryway and tries the door to the store proper, which is locked. She then turns around goes to the exit door, pulls it open and walks in. I stop her.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, there is a power outage. We’re closed.”

Woman: “Does that mean I can come in?”

Me: “No. ‘Closed’ means you can’t come in.”

Woman: “Then how come THEY’RE allowed in?” *points to people behind cash registers all wearing store aprons*

Me: “Uh… they work here.”

Woman: *leaves angrily*

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PEBCAK, Episode II

, | Right | March 27, 2008

(We get a LOT of calls like this.)

Caller: “I locked myself out of my computer, and I can’t get in and I need to get in! My password doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, we can do a password reset for you.”

Caller: “This is really important, I need to be able to log in!”

Me: “Okay, sir, no problem. Can you just verify your login ID for me?”

Caller: *verifies*

Me: “Okay, great. Now can you verify that your Caps Lock is not on?”

Caller: “What? That’s stupid, why would I… oh.” *silence*

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “…it just worked all of a sudden, thanks.”

Me: “…”

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The (Mystery) State Of The Union

, , | Right | March 27, 2008

(I was an 800-directory operator. We weren’t information, we just gave you 1-800 numbers.)

Caller: “Excuse me, but what state is Kentucky in?”

Me: “Well, Kentucky IS a state.”

Caller: “Yeah, but what state is it in?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not IN a state. There are 50 states, and Kentucky is one of them.”

Caller: “Well, there’s 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii.”

Me: “There’s only 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii TWICE. But there’s only 51 if you don’t count Kentucky.”

Caller: *click*

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