Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

| | Right | November 4, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”

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There Once Was a Man From Nantucket …

| | Right | November 4, 2007

(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island???)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

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Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

| | Right | November 4, 2007

Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady 1: “Um, yes. (to Lady 2) What are you having, dear?”

Lady 2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady 1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

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When They Ask Why, It’s Time To Run

, | | Right | November 4, 2007

Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”

Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”

Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”

Customer: *stare*

Me: “Frozen coffee?”

Customer: “Um… Why?”

Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”

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Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

| | Right | November 3, 2007

Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

Me:Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “What section would it be in?”

Me: “The fiction section.”

Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

Me: “Movies are not true.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

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