Taster’s Choice

| Right | June 24, 2009

(I was a customer at a store that engraves plaques, trophies, etc. and I witnessed this exchange.)

Employee: *to another customer* “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific plaque design.”

Employee: “All right, what kind of design are you looking for?”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t really remember what it looked like. But it tasted really bad.”

Employee: “…let’s just look over here, shall we?”

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Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis

, , | Right | June 24, 2009

(A customer comes in to discuss care of his elderly, very ill cat. We talk about keeping the cat warm and hydrated.)

Customer: “So, I have this idea… I thought that if I put the cat in a bath, she’d stay warm and not be thirsty.”

Me: “Well, sir, I don’t think that that would be a good idea. She’ll get cold once you take her out of the bath. Also, putting her in water isn’t going to help her stay hydrated.”

Customer: “You mean that if I’m thirsty and I take a bath, I’ll still be thirsty when I get out?”

Me: “Yes, that is what I’m saying.”

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The Greater Of Two Evils

, , | Right | June 24, 2009

(A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

Me: “Sure…”

(I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas*

Customer’s Kid: “Yeah, mum! I want that one!”

Me: “Erm… I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

(I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

This story is included in our Videogame Store roundup.

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Now In Original & Extra Bandwidth Flavor

, , | Right | June 23, 2009

(I work at a sandwich place, where we have signs up promoting free Wi-Fi. An uninformed lady comes into the store.)

Lady: *looking the menu over and over* “How big is the serving of free Wi-Fi?”

Me: “I’m sorry, can you say that again?”

Lady: “The serving of Wi-Fi; how big is the free portion? Can I pay extra and get a bigger one to share with my husband, or can we get two cups for free?”

Me: “The Wi-Fi is a signal for computers that can connect to the Internet wirelessly… It isn’t something edible.”

(She looked around for a long time, checked her phone, and then walked out.)

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He’s Got The Look

| Right | June 23, 2009

Male Customer: “Excuse me, could I get some boyfriend jeans?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Customer: “You know, the baggy jeans – ‘boyfriend’ jeans.” *looks at me like I’m stupid*

Me: “You mean… normal jeans?”

Customer: *adamantly* “NO! My girlfriend calls them ‘boyfriend’ jeans.”

Me: “She’s female… for guys they’re just ‘jeans’…”

Customer: “Well, whatever they are, can you get me a pair?”

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