How Many Ways Can You Say Woof

, , , | Right | September 14, 2008

Customer: “Hi, do you work here?”

Me: “Yeah, can I help you?”

Customer: “My son is in the hospital because of a car accident, and I want to get him a sympathy card.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; the sympathy cards are right over here.”

(The customer goes through the cards for a few minutes, and then comes back to find me at the counter.)

Customer: “I found a card for him from me, but I also need one from his dog.”

Me: “His… dog?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to send him a card from his dog to show him that he cares.”

Me: “I don’t think we carry sympathy cards from pets. But, we do have blank cards with pictures of dogs on them that you can use.”

Customer: “No! It has to be a SYMPATHY CARD!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we just don’t sell that card.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I saw one like it just a few weeks ago! I want to see your manager!”

Manager: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “YES! I need a sympathy card for my son from his dog!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry that type of card.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I saw it here a few weeks ago!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we’ve never sold that type of card here before. You could fill out a blank card if you like? They’re pretty cheap, and some have pictures of dogs on them.”

Customer: “Uggghhh!” *throws hands up in the air*

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Like Father, Like Son

| Right | September 14, 2008

(A guy walks up to the register carrying his two or three year old son and places him on the counter.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us?”

Guy: “No, and I don’t want one either. No!”

(The little boy grabs the stylus from the PIN pad and starts trying to draw.)

Little Boy: “No! No! No! No!”

Me: *jokingly* “See, look what you taught him.”

(The guy tries to take the stylus from his son.)

Guy: “Give me the d*** pen!”

Little Boy: “Give me the d*** pen! Give me the d*** pen!”

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, | Right | September 14, 2008

Me: “Operator.”

Customer: “I need to call long distance to New York.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you need to hang up and dial ’00’ for the long distance operator.”

Customer: “I don’t have a ’00’ button on my phone. I only have a ‘0’!”

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How Spider-woman Goes Shopping

, , | Right | September 13, 2008

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the exit to the street?”

Me: “Take the escalator down to the first floor and go out any of the doors.”

Customer: “Down? I have to go down? But I came in on this floor.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “But I came in on this floor.”

Me: “That’s impossible; this is the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I swear I came in on this floor. And you know, the customer is always right. ”

Me: “Unless you scaled the building to get in, I am right on this one.”

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, | Right | September 13, 2008

(A customer runs in two minutes to closing time.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re closing soon.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re closing? But I haven’t had time to get what I want!”

Me: “We’re open again tomorrow, 9 til 9.”

Customer: “You should stay open until 10. People need to do their shopping, you know.”

Me: “Sir, people like you are the reason that people like me don’t have lives.”

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