Recruiting For New Blood

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Right | February 27, 2010

Donor: “I’ve never seen you here before.”

Me: “Well, yes, I am relatively new, but I’ve been involved with [blood bank] for a long time.”

Donor: “So, are you like a volunteer or something?”

Me: “No, I am an employee. I had to undergo several weeks of training for this.”

Donor: “But you look too young to be an employee!”

Me: “I assure you, I am a full employee.”

Donor: “But you’re only like 14!”

Me: “Actually sir, I’m 20, almost 21.”

Donor: “No way!”

Me: “Let me put it this way. Would you really want a 14 year old volunteer removing a 14 gauge needle from your arm and handling your blood?”

Donor: “Good point. Carry on.”

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Bananas Can Taste Of Bitter Disappointment

| San Diego, CA, USA | Right | February 27, 2010

(We sell bananas next to the cash register with a sign fixture that reads: ‘Bananas – 90 cents!’.)

Me: “Here’s your tall coffee, sir.”

Customer: *looking at bananas* “Oh, so that’s what you call them! ‘Tropical Paradise Bars’. I’ve been calling them bananas my whole life!”

(I see the banana sign has accidentally been flipped over to read ‘Tropical Paradise Bars – $2.25’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong sign.” *flips sign back over*

Customer: “Oh. Never mind then.” *walks away looking disappointed*

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Blimey Guv’nor, This Magazine Is A Bloody Good Read

| New Jersey, USA | Right | February 26, 2010

Customer: “Where are the magazines?”

Me: “Right here. If you have any questions, please ask.”

Customer: “Um, what’s the difference between Cosmo and UK Cosmo?”

Me: “Well, one is more expensive and it looks like they have different articles.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Do you know if UK Cosmo is written in an accent?”

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Jane Austinpocalypse

| New Hampshire, USA | Right | February 26, 2010

(A teenage customer and his girlfriend are at the checkout.)

Customer: “Does the original Pride and Prejudice actually have zombies in it?”

Me: “Um, no, but we have Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies, which has zombies.”

Customer: “But the original Pride and Prejudice doesn’t have zombies? It’s like, a love story?”

Me: “Yes. It was written in the 19th century. No zombies.”

Customer, to girlfriend: “See, I told you so!”

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Doctor Sue

| Manchester, UK | Right | February 26, 2010

(I am selling a replica phone box from the popular show ‘Doctor Who’ on an online auction site. In the show the phone box is actually a time machine/spaceship. I put my number on there so people can call me.)

Caller: “Hi, I was wondering about the replica phone box you are selling. Can it actually fly to other planets and go through time?”

Me: “Afraid not. It’s a replica…it’s fake.”

Caller: “Well, is it as big inside as in the show?”

Me: “No, that’s impossible to do. It’s a TV show so it’s not real.”

Caller: “What? You’re selling a replica? So it can’t fly to other planets and through time?”

Me: “No one can make it like it is on the show. It’s impossible.”

Caller: “Excuses, excuses! You lying b****!. I’m going to report you and sue!” *click*

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