America, Land Of The Not-So-Free

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | May 27, 2010

Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”

Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”

Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”

Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”

Me: “I can charge you $16 US Dollars for the anti-virus.”

Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”

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They’ll Never Survive Welsh

| Manchester, UK | Right | May 27, 2010

(A tourist is in line to get a ticket.)

Tourist: “Can I have a ticket to Loogahgbaroogah?”

Me: “Sorry, where?”

Tourist: “Loogahbaroogah.”

Me: Sir, there is no rail station in the UK called Loogahbaroogah.”

Tourist: “But…”

Me: “Did you mean Loughbrough?” (It’s pronounced ‘Luffbruh’)

(The tourist gets his ticket and walks off, followed by the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “It’s a good job he didn’t want my ticket. Return to Llanelli, please.”

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How To Address The Proof Of Address

| New Jersey, USA | Right | May 27, 2010

Me: “Okay, for a library card I need ID the verifies your address.”

Patron: *recites address*

Me: “I need proof that is your address, like your ID or a bill.”

Patron: *recites address again*

Me: “I’m sorry. I need proof.”

(The patron walks away and comes back with another patron.)

Patron: “Will you please tell this lady where I live to prove it?”

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Nicoteenagers

| Ontario, Canada | Right | May 26, 2010

(I have just gotten my first job, at age 16. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)

Customer: “Oh, hey [my name], I didn’t know you worked here.”

Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “We were in grade 8 together, and I’m only 16. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”

Customer: “Yeah I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m 19 now.”

Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”

Customer: “I…I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”

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The Unfantastic Mr. Fox

| United Kingdom | Right | May 26, 2010

(A man comes up to me with a huge bag.)

Customer: “Can I ask an odd question?”

Me: “Go for it.”

Customer: “Would it be okay for me to put my fox costume on and stand in the foyer?”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “Just for pleasure. I enjoy doing it and the customers would enjoy seeing it.”

Me: “I’ll just check with my manager.”

(I phone the manager and repeat the request. The manager laughs for a few minutes and says no.)

Me: “I’m afraid my manager has said it’s not okay.”

Customer: *looks down sadly* “It’s okay. They said no everywhere else I asked too.” *walks away sadly, dragging the bag with his fox costume in*

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