Customer Service Saves Another Life

| | Right | February 26, 2009

Customer: “How many pine nuts are in your ‘Lemon Orzo with Pine Nuts’?”

Me: “A good amount, why?”

Customer: “Because my husband is allergic, and I was just wondering how much I’d be able to give to him.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, do you like your husband?”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Because it could very well kill him.”

Customer: “…”

Me: *nodding*

Customer: “Oh…”

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Deception School Drop-Out

| | Right | February 26, 2009

Me: “Your total is $42.98.”

Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. Those pillows are on sale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just got these pillows in today. They won’t be on sale for at least a few more weeks.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They say they’re on sale! You have to give me the sale price.”

Me: “Well, I’ll double-check for you, but I already sold a few others today and no one else paid a sale price for them.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar? Because I already checked! They all say they’re on sale!”

(She points to the price tags on the pillows that have been haphazardly covered up by sale stickers.)

Me: “Yes, and those sale stickers also say that these pillows are napkins.”

 

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They’re Starting To Catch On

, | | Right | February 25, 2009

Customer: “I thought I should let you guys know your phone isn’t working.”

Me: “OK. Are you sure you’ve been dialing the correct number?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ve been trying 0800-2100 all week, and it never goes through.”

Me: “…0800-2100? That’s not our number – our number is [Number]. If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get 0800-2100 from?”

Customer: “Right there, on your door.” *points*

Me: “Sir, that’s not a phone number… Those are our business hours.”

Customer: “I’m going to see this on NotAlwaysRight.com, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes… Yes, you will. Have a nice day!”

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Continental Confusion

| | Right | February 25, 2009

Customer: “Why are these shoes made in Chile?”

Me: “Well, I would assume that Chile is where the factory is located.”

Customer: “But WHY? Where is Chile anyways?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure why, but Chile is located in South America.”

Customer: “South America? Like down by Alabama?”

Me: *facepalm*

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God Ma’amit

| | Right | February 25, 2009

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Don’t call me ma’am, that’s rude! that’s like me calling you stupid!”

Me: “I apologize… I was just trying to be courteous.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You’re stupid, and he’s stupid, and everybody that works here is stupid! I’m leaving!”

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

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