Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5

| USA | Right | September 30, 2013

(The new ‘Grand Theft Auto’ game has just been released, and my coworker and I have been very adamant on informing all parents of the content, going so far as to read off the ESRB rating site as needed to make sure they’re alright with the game. A 14-year-old boy and his mother come in.)

Son: “Yeah, I’m here for the new GTA game.”

Me: “Alright. Just to check, ma’am, are you alright with the M rating on this? It’s got a lot of objectionable content including—”

(I read off the back of the case.)

Mother: “…I don’t know.”

Son: “It’s fine!”

Me: “According to the people who rate these, there’s also male genitalia in a non-sexual context involving cult members and necrophilia. There’s also a torture sequence.”

Mother: “No! Absolutely not! We’re not getting it.”

Son: “YES WE ARE! YOU’RE GOING TO GET THIS FOR ME!”

Mother: “No. We’re leaving.”

Son: “I’M BUYING IT!” *looks to me expectantly*

Me: “She is your mother, and she said no. I’m not able to sell this to you.”

Son: *to mother* “YOU CAN’T TELL ME NO! YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT! THIS IS A F****** WASTE OF TIME! I’LL JUST COME BACK WITH DAD AND HE’LL GET IT FOR ME!”

Mother: “You do not use that language with me! That’s it, we’re leaving. NOW!”

(The mother storms off, forcing the son to leave. I turn to my boss and other customers who are staring after them in shock.)

Me: “And that, right there, is why we make sure to advise on the content.”

 

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Convicted By His Convictions

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Right | September 30, 2013

(I work in a five-star hotel in Amsterdam. It is standard policy that guests give their credit card number upon check-in, or a cash deposit if they do not have a credit card. If they use up a lot of their credit, sometimes reception has to contact the guest for an extra cash deposit. We notice on a Saturday that a guest has completely spent his deposit on watching pay TV of a certain explicit nature. My coworker rings the guest in his room with the request that he should come down to reception to give us more cash.)

Coworker: *to me* “Well, that did not go down very well. He says he did not spend any of his deposit, and he is coming down to reception to see the bill after he is finished praying.”

(At that moment, the elevator door opens and man in full Jewish prayer garb steps out.)

Guest: “I have just been called about my bill, and I would like to see it.”

Coworker: “Sure, I have already printed it out. As you can see, you have watched TV here, here and here, and that is why your balance is so low.”

Guest: “There is no way I watched that filth! Look at me! Do I look like a man who would watch that sort of shocking thing? I don’t understand that a hotel would subject its guests to that kind of immoral muck in the first place. I don’t want anything to do with that! God-fearing people like I should be protected from accidentally zapping to those kinds of channels.”

Coworker: “Well, sir, you did not accidentally zap to that channel. You have to type your room number to activate this program. After five minutes, you get a message on screen that you have to start paying now, and type in the room number again. Then the system asks you to press the confirm button. You cannot do all that by accident. Furthermore, I can see in the records that you watched this channel on three different days for more than two hours at a time. This indicates to me that you have watched a full movie on all these occasions, so I am not satisfied that you accidentally landed on this channel for a few seconds.”

(The guest throws a few banknotes in my coworker’s face and marches off.)

Me: *to coworker* “I have a feeling this is not the end of it”.

(At that moment, the phone rings, and I can see the guest’s room number in the display.)

Me: *to coworker* “It’s your friend from the pay TV room; you’d better take this call.”

Coworker: *on the phone to the guest* “Yes, sir, you told me that you could not understand that a hotel would subject its guests to that kind of immoral muck in the first place, that you did not want anything to do with that, and that God-fearing people like you should be protected from accidentally zapping to that kind of channels. So I put the child lock on so that you did not have to be subjected to the filth anymore. Have a nice day…”

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Top 5 Not Always Right Stories of September

Not Always Right | Right | September 30, 2013

September 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of September!

  1. The First And True Language Of America (4,997 thumbs up)
  2. You Can’t Stop The Music (3,242 thumbs up)
  3. CPR = Criminally Poor Reaction (3,153 thumbs up)
  4. Sold A Game, Bought A Life-Lesson (3,137 thumbs up)
  5. Piercing Judgments, Part 2 (2,823 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Do As You’re Told Or You’re On Your Bike

| USA | Right | September 29, 2013

(A group of young kids comes into the store. One of them is running around, asking questions without paying attention to the answers, being messy, and generally being annoying. Also, the store is going to be shut down in a few weeks, which has understandably left all of us on edge.)

Polite Kid: “I’d like this one, please.”

Me: “Sure! That’ll be—”

Rude Kid: “My friend wants this one!” *shoves another game and gift card into my face*

Me: “Did you want to do this in the same transaction as this friend, or a different one?”

Rude Kid: “Different one!”

Me: “Then you’re going to have to wait.”

Rude Kid: *turns to friend* “Oh, hear that? You gotta wait.”

(I finish the transactions, and watch the kids mess around in the store.)

Rude Kid: “Yeah, so, we’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’ll be loaded up again by then; I’m getting $20!”

(The group starts to leave. Another customer comes in and approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I wanted to let you know those bikes are blocking the door.”

(I nod to the customer and turn to the kids who are heading for the door.)

Me: “Hey, just so you know; next time you can’t leave your bikes there.”

Rude Kid: “Not like it matters, since you’ll be shut down soon anyway.”

Me: “Next time, we won’t sell you anything if you leave those bikes there. Use the bike rack, or don’t come in again.”

(The rude kid finally shuts up and leaves quickly.)

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Selective Stealing

| Portugal | Right | September 28, 2013

(I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

Client #1: “Sure!”

(I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so I return to Client #1.)

Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

(We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

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