The End Is Nigh-Phone

| TX, USA | Right | October 12, 2013

(An elderly customer calls our shop trying to find out if we have another location that is close enough to his address to deliver to him. I grab one of the menus with our locations and phone numbers on it to assist him, since we can’t access the internet in the store.)

Caller: “I’m in [town an hour south of us].”

Me: “Okay, well we have a shop in [town just north of him].”

Caller: “No, no, I already called them! They said it was too far!”

Me: “Oh, alright, sorry about that. The next location I’m showing here is in [big city even further south].”

Caller: “I ain’t going into the city!”

Me: “Okay. Well, the next thing we could try is if you have access to a computer; you can go on our website and it will be able calculate from your address—”

Caller: “I ain’t got one of those d*** computers, and I have no desire for one either.”

Me: “Um, okay, well—”

Caller: “Because when the end comes, I’m gonna be sitting back in my house laughing and watching all the chaos while everyone else goes crazy because your iPhones don’t work no more!”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “Well thanks anyway for your help, and you think about what I said, missy.” *hangs up*

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Named And Shamed

| Right | October 12, 2013

One Ring To Scare Them All

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | October 12, 2013

(I am working in a gift shop full of customers, mostly teenagers on field trips and their chaperones. I notice four boys as they walk in, and I greet them. They do not respond. A few minutes later, I begin adjusting some misplaced personalized rings.)

Boy #1: *pointing to a ring I am adjusting* “AAAHHH!”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy #1: *points again* “AAAAHHHH!”

Boy #2: “AAAAAAHHHH!”

Me: “Alright, how may I help you? Is there something I can get for you?”

All Four Boys: “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

Me: “Uh, okay…I can call somebody to help you.”

(The four boys stare at me, then slink away towards the door, almost without a word.)

Boy #3: “AAAAAHHH!” *all four exit*

(Several minutes later, all of the customers have left my shop and I begin adjusting the rings and key-chains again. I hear a voice behind me.)

Boy #4: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: *turning around* “Yes?”

Boy #4: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me if—AAAAAHHH!” *bolts from the store*

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A Better Cliché, A Better Day

| Prescott, AZ, USA | Right | October 11, 2013

(I am helping a customer adjust his shuttle reservation. I am having a horrible day; I am not feeling well, so my mood isn’t good but I don’t let it affect my inclination to help customers.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’re all set.”

Customer: *happily* “Oh, bless your heart! Peace be with you, and all that s***!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Customer: “I hope you have a better day, and not just because of me!”

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The Little Mermaid Student

| New Zealand | Right | October 11, 2013

(I am a swimming teacher for mainly children under five. It is after the final lesson of the day. I am standing chatting to the parents. A young girl I have just been teaching walks up to me.)

Young Girl: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Young Girl: “Why aren’t you in the pool?”

Me: “I don’t have anyone else to teach today. You were my last class.”

Young Girl: “But I thought you lived in the pool. Aren’t you a mermaid, miss?”

(I have to fight back the laughter as this little girl is completely serious, and is horrified to learn I don’t live in the pool! It’s things like this that make my job worthwhile.)

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