Petty People Make Petty Complaints

| NJ, USA | Right | August 28, 2013

(I am serving a woman who comes in for lunch with her two children. They have been pleasant so far, and are waiting for their order to come out. The children’s food is done slightly before the mother’s, so I bring it out before it gets cold.)

Mother: “Where is my food?”

Me: “It’ll be out in a few minutes, so no worries!”

Mother: “But my children have their food now.”

Me: “Theirs was done a little sooner, but yours is on its way.”

Mother: “It’s not right that they get to eat before I do!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry about the delay. Maybe you could have a few bites of their pizza while you’re waiting?”

Mother: “Are you saying that I should STEAL food from my CHILDREN?”

Me: “Oh, no, not at all! It’s just, sharing is caring, right?”

Mother: “I want to see the manager! This is ridiculous! I am NOT paying for this!”

Me: “Well all righty then…”

(She ends up getting everything for free, even though the manager told me later he was on my side. )

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Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Right | August 28, 2013

(I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

Customer: “Do you take real money?”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Real money!”

(The customer holds up US currency.)

Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
Loonie Over A Toonie

Not Addressing The Problem

| MN, USA | Right | August 28, 2013

(A customer calls in to report problems with their cell phone. I’ve determined it is a network issue.)

Me: “So, I will just need to know the location where you are so that I can tell the technician.”

Customer: “What? I’m not giving you the address! That’s not my job! I just need you to come out and fix it. It’s in Chicago.”

Me: “Well, in order for our techs to know what tower to fix, they need to know where you are having the issues. Without an address, I can’t put in the ticket.”

Customer: “No! I am not giving you the address! I am so sick and tired of this stuff! I had the same problem with [other provider]! You don’t need an address to fix it; you just don’t want to help!”

Me: “I do want to help, which is why I need an address. Even if the system would let me put the ticket in without an address, you’d then be waiting for months for a resolution while we check every tower in Chicago. In order to help, I need to know where to send my techs.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I have a business to run! I don’t have time for this s***!”

Me: “It looks like you have a water-sprinkler company. If one of your customers reported a problem with a pipe you laid, would you go around the entire city checking every pipe, or would you require that customer to give you an address to assist?”

Customer: *huffs* “That is not the same thing, and you know it! Now get someone out here immediately!”

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A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | August 28, 2013

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

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Dumb Questions

| Right | August 27, 2013

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