Closed To All Reason

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | February 8, 2014

(It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

(I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

(At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

(The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

(Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

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Wined And Dined And Fined

| Right | February 8, 2014

Annoying Customer On The Line

| Right | February 7, 2014

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Have A Nice Day!

| Right | February 7, 2014

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Channeling Good Customer Service

| MI, USA | Right | February 7, 2014

(I’m the bad guy in this one. I enjoy messing with telemarketers and wasting their time. Most telemarketers aren’t allowed to hang up on you. They’re required to give the whole spiel, regardless of what you say or don’t say, and wait for an answer.)

Caller: “Good afternoon, Mr. [My Name]. My name is [Name], and I’m calling from [Telephone Company]. How are you today?”

Me: “Please hold.”

(I place the handset down in front of the television, which is turned to a 24-hour news station, and I walk away. Ten minutes later, I come back to hang up the handset, and notice that the line is still live. I can hear the telemarketer on the other end talking to a coworker.)

Caller: “…apparently we still have troops in Afghanistan. And Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Hang on. I hear breathing! Mr. [My Name], are you there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Mr. [My Name] isn’t available. Can I take a message?”

Caller: “Sure. Tell him to set the TV to Comedy Central next time I call. You have a nice day.”

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