Di Altone

| Right | April 7, 2014

1f48eec8dcff21266ae1e08d1fa2df04

Sugar And Spice And Naughty And Nice

| Bloomfield Hills, MI, USA | Right | April 7, 2014

Customer: *after purchasing tickets and popcorn* “And I need to get my husband a drink. Give me a bottle of water. Or… what do you have that’s not naughty?”

Me: “Um, naughty like… ‘sex on the beach?'”

Customer: “No. Just without any high-fructose crap. Saccharine is fine, aspartame isn’t…”

(She begins to look at the options in our cooler as her husband, wearing a ‘live free or die’ hat, enters.)

Customer: “Get something to drink. Something not naughty.”

Customer’s Husband: *to me* “You got Coke products?”

Me: “Yes. We have fountain drinks which have HFCS, and the bottled drinks are all cane sugar. So they aren’t, um, quite as naughty.”

Customer: “Oh, he’ll just have a bottle of water.”

Me: “Okay. So that’s two bottles of water? One for him and one for you?”

Customer’s Husband:  “I think I’ll have a Cherry Coke.”

Customer: “Cherry Coke? What are you, 12?”

Customer’s Husband:  “We’re at a movie!”

Customer: “But it’s NAUGHTY!”

Customer’s Husband:  “Fine. Make it a small.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll be in the theater while you’re getting diabetes! WITH MY WATER!”

(I prepare the Cherry Coke for him and ring it up.)

Me: “Live free or die, man. Here’s your drink.”

1 Thumbs
1,663
VOTES

Delayed By A Customer Is A Certainty Principle

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Right | April 7, 2014

(I’m standing in line waiting at the check-out of a popular department store. There’s no one behind me, and I’m not in a particular hurry. The woman in front of me is buying a single item, for which she has a coupon.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t scan. Did you—”

Customer: “What do you mean it won’t scan?”

Cashier: “Well, I see that this coupon is for [Brand Name item] and you’re trying to purchase [generic version of the same item]. The coupon only—”

Customer: “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

Cashier: “Well, no. The coupon only—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Just scan the coupon!”

Cashier: “I’m terribly sorry, but the coupon won’t—”

Customer: “I came here because I had that coupon. Now put the discount on!”

(Since it seems like we might be here all day, and I know that trying to explain her mistake won’t get anywhere, I interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, how much is the coupon worth?”

Customer: “It’s for two dollars. But—”

Me: “If I give you two dollars, will you pay and take your item?”

Customer: *insulted tone* “No! It’s the principle of the matter!”

(I wound up waiting another five minutes while they called over the manager, and no, she did not get her discount)

1 Thumbs
1,621
VOTES

He Has Mama Issues

| Stettler, AB, Canada | Right | April 6, 2014

(I’m a fairly new cashier at a popular fast food restaurant. Our burgers have names, like ‘Mama Burger’ or ‘Teen Burger.’)

Customer: *obviously intoxicated* “I want a cheeseburger and I want it hot. I don’t want it sitting in the f******* warmer.”

(As there is no listing for cheeseburger, I automatically change it to a ‘mama burger’ with cheese.)

Me: “Of course, sir, that’ll be $7.50.”

(I continue on with my job, cleaning trays and wiping tables, as someone else bags food. After several minutes I notice the customer is still standing there without his food. There is a bag sitting on the counter, and as I check the receipt I notice it is his ‘mama burger’ with cheese.)

Me: “Sir, I believe this is your meal here. Your cheeseburger?”

Customer: “I ORDERED A GODD*** CHEESEBURGER OVER 10 MINUTES AGO! NOT A ‘MAMA BURGER’!”

(As he continues on, my manager steps in and I quietly go hide in the back room and watch and listen.)

Manager: “I’m sorry for the mix up, sir. This is a cheeseburger, but in this restaurant it’s called a—”

Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A D*** WHAT IT’S CALLED. I’VE WAITED OVER 10 MINUTES! THIS IS WHY YOU PEOPLE ONLY MAKE MINIMUM WAGE! ANY MONKEY COULD TAKE YOUR JOBS AND DO BETTER!”

Manager: *calmly* “I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: *snatches food from counter* “I’M SO MAD, I COULD JUST—” *raises his fist to manager’s face* “I SHOULD BURN THIS BUILDING DOWN ON TOP OF ALL OF YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF S***!”

Manager: “You should not be out drinking and driving. It puts everyone in danger.”

Customer: “I’VE NEVER HAD A SIP OF ALCOHOL IN MY LIFE! NO DRUGS EITHER!”

*storms out with his food*

Next Customer In Line: “That’s a lie. He has had to be removed by police from [Other Fast Food Restaurant] four times. We’re instructed to phone police if he enters the premises.”

Me: *comes out of hiding*

Coworker: “You saw that coming, huh? I was wondering why you were hiding.”

Me: “This job… It gets better, right?”

Coworker: “No.”

1 Thumbs
1,572
VOTES

This Friendship Is Fried

| Bowling Green, KY, USA | Right | April 6, 2014

(I approach a table occupied by a young couple.)

Me: “Hello. I’m [My Name] and I’ll be your waitress. Can I get you something to drink?”

Young Man: “Hello. Um, yes.  I’ll have a [Soda Pop] and we’re ready to order, if that’s okay?”

Me: “Certainly, what can I get for you?”

(The young man, polite and well-spoken, places his order and I turned to the vacant eyed young lady with him. All empty smiles and mindless giggles, she inquires…)

Young Lady: “Hee, hee, hee. What’s a kwee-sa-dil-la?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

(She points to the quesadilla plate and I calmly explain the concept to her.)

Young Lady: “Hee hee! Oh, I don’t think I’d like that? What’s chicken ‘friend’ rice?”

(The young man takes on a look of pained embarrassment and I try to spare him by keeping my expression neutral.)

Me: “Its rice that’s been stir fried and had vegetables, egg, and chicken added to it.”

Young Lady: “Tee hee. Oh, so, it has shrimp in it?”

(Young man face palms.)

Me: “We have a shrimp fried rice plate that has shrimp in it.”

Young Lady: “No, no, no. I want that chicken ‘friend’ rice stuff.”

Me: “All right. So chicken fried rice and—”

Young Lady: “And that’s got shrimp, right?”

(Young man drops head to table and tries to disappear.)

Me: “Um, no, it has chicken but I can have them make shrimp fried rice instead.”

Young Lady: “No, no. I want chicken ‘friend’ rice with shrimp, not chicken.”

1 Thumbs
1,930
VOTES
Page 1,706/3,888First...1,7041,7051,7061,7071,708...Last
« Previous
Next »