Not On Par With An Emergency

| Perth, WA, Australia | Right | February 10, 2014

(I’m a receptionist for a car dealership with repair departments as well as sales. Only sales are open on a Saturday, with all repairs locked up over the weekend.)

Me: “Good morning! This is [Business Name]. How can I help you?

Caller: *sounding flustered and upset* “Thank God. Put me onto service.”

Me: “The service department is actually closed on the weekend. Can I take a message for Monday?”

Caller: “No, you don’t understand. My car got brought in yesterday and I need to get my things out.”

Me: “Did you arrange anything with the staff during the week? Maybe they left it at reception for you.”

Caller: “No, I didn’t!”

Me: “Oh. Well. It will have to wait until Monday. Everything is locked up to keep the cars and contents safe.”

Caller: “Don’t you understand? This is urgent! Can’t you unlock it for me?”

Me: “I don’t have the keys. Only the managers of that department do.”

Caller: “Well, why the h*** are they closed? Make them come to work to open everything up!”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. This is their time off.”

Caller: “But this is an EMERGENCY!”

(This goes on for sometime, and the caller is getting more and more upset. I figure it must be really important to cause such a fuss – something like medicine, or formula for a small child.)

Me: “Tell you what. Give me your number and I’ll try and sort something out.”

Caller: “Thank you! This is so important. This is an emergency. You need to get someone in.”

(I try to sort it out, but I can’t. He’s going to have to wait until Monday. I call him back.)

Me: “Hello. Is this [Name]? I’m so sorry, but it’s completely impossible.”

Caller: “But it’s an emergency!”

Me: “I know. I’m sorry, but no one here has the keys and none of the managers can come in.”

Caller: “Do you realise how urgent this is? I am going to have to use the RENTAL CLUBS.”

Me: “… Excuse me?”

Caller: “I am going golfing with friends today at [ludicrously expensive golf course]! Do you know how embarrassing it will be for me to use rental clubs?”

Me: “You mean to tell me you wanted me to get managers, who work thirteen-hour days all week, to come in because you don’t want to use RENTED GOLF CLUBS?”

Caller: “You see!? It’s an emergency!”

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Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup

| Not Always Right | Right | February 9, 2014

Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,864 thumbs up)
  2. Paying The Price Of Stupidity (2,045 thumbs up)
  3. Credited Childsplay (2,856 thumbs up)
  4. Body Of Lies (1,800 thumbs up)
  5. His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On (1,879 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

This Bus Is Going Dune Town

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | February 9, 2014

(I am on my way home from a video game convention. I am dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda. It’s about 11:30 at night.)

Bus Driver: “That woman is a ‘Bene Gesserit’ witch. You’ve read Dune, right?”

Passenger #1: “No.”

Me: “I am the ‘Kwisatz Haderach!'”

Passenger #2: “Who said that?”

Me: “I did. Link said that.”

Passenger #2: *pause* “That’s fair.”

Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 5

| MI, USA | Right | February 9, 2014

(I work at a very popular car wash. On a busy day, we can reach a volume of over a thousand customers. We only have five vacuums, which are free during business hours, and $1.00 after close. Due to wet paint, we close one vacuum, which includes shutting the power to that individual vacuum off completely, posting signs on the vacuum AND on the trash can which we placed in front of it, and taping it off. Despite this, a customer attempts to use it anyway. It won’t turn on, so she walks up to the building.)

Customer: “May I have change for a dollar?”

Me: *knowing why she’s asking* “Of course, but are you needing change for a vacuum?”

Customer: *points to the one that’s closed* “Yes! That vacuum won’t turn on!”

Me: “That’s because it’s been shut off.”

Customer: “But I need to vacuum out my car. I already parked there and got out and walked all the way over here!”

Me: “There are signs that say it’s out of order.”

Customer: “I didn’t see them!”

Me: “You didn’t see that it’s been cordoned off, the trash can in front of it to prevent people from parking there, or the signs that state ‘Out of Order’?”

Customer: “You know what?! I’ll go somewhere else!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Related:
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

1 Thumbs
1,185
VOTES

Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Right | February 9, 2014

Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,864 thumbs up)
  2. Paying The Price Of Stupidity (2,045 thumbs up)
  3. Credited Childsplay (2,856 thumbs up)
  4. Body Of Lies (1,800 thumbs up)
  5. His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On (1,879 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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