Unaware Of How Unaware He Is

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Right | May 21, 2014

(I work at a hotel that accommodates a lot of business travelers during the week. Shortly after checking in a sharply dressed executive type, I get a call from his room.)

Guest: “Hey, I think your sink is broken. I keep waving my hand in front of the sensor and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “There is no sensor, sir. Just turn the faucet on.”

Guest: “Oh! Okay, great! And I can just use these towels to dry my hands, right?”

Me: “Um… absolutely.”

Guest: “Great! Thanks!”

(A few minutes later he calls down again.)

Guest: “Hi there! Just curious. Is this remote for the TV or something else?”

Me: “It’s for the TV, sir. There should be a list there of local and premium channels as well.”

Guest: “Oh good! Just wanted to make sure.”

(And in another few minutes…)

Guest: “Hi, sorry to bother you again but I’m expecting a phone call in a little bit. When the phone rings, do I just pick up or…?”

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Crazily Honest

| USA | Right | May 21, 2014

(The store I work at is about a block from a mental health services office. We often see their clients in the store and know that some can be a bit eccentric.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Customer: “Not bad for a crazy guy but as long as I take my meds, I’m okay.”

Me: “Well, there’s something to be said for honesty…”

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Thinking Way Outside The Box

| USA | Right | May 21, 2014

(It was getting to the end of the day at the bank. One of my tellers and a banker are in the drive-thru, starting to pack things up, when a customer pulls into one of the farthest lanes from the building.)

Customer: “I need to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “Sure thing. I can let one of the bankers know that you will be coming in to get into your box.”

Customer: “No. I’m not coming in. I just want to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “Well the safe deposit boxes are inside. They are inside the vault. The only way to get in the box is to go in the vault.”

Customer: “I know. I told you I am not coming inside. I just need to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “How are you going to get your box out of the vault that is inside if you don’t come inside? Bank employees don’t have access to the safe deposit boxes because they contain your property. YOU have the key.”

Customer: “LOOK I TOLD YOU I’M NOT COMING INSIDE. ARE YOU GOING TO GET MY SAFE DEPOSIT BOX OR NOT?!”

Teller: “Seriously?”

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Calling About Calling

| Canada | Right | May 21, 2014

(I work at a customer service desk. I answer the phone with my usual greeting. The customer on the other line starts screaming.)

Customer: “WHY DID YOU CALL ME?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you called us… Was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME.”

Me: “Did someone leave a message on your machine?”

Customer: “Yes. It was you. Why did you call me?”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t me personally. What did the message say?”

Customer: “It said I had an order ready for pick up. Why did you call me?”

Me: “It would appear you have an order… for pick up…”

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Board Of Mistrustees

| England, UK | Right | May 21, 2014

(I am interning at a business and working reception. A customer calls, wanting the information of a man who used to work there.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I need the contact information for [Name]. It’s very important.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t give out the information of people who no longer work here.”

Customer: “But I just need his information. It’s very important.”

Me: “We are no longer affiliated with [Name] and cannot give out his information. You could try looking online.”

(This back and forth goes on for some time with me trying to explain that we can’t just give out people’s personal info.)

Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question!? I’m reporting you to the board of trustees! What is your name?”

Me: “My Name is [My Name] and you can do that if you wish.”

(She then hangs up. As far as I know we don’t have a board of trustees and I’m a six week intern from out of the country so I’m not sure what she was hoping to accomplish…)

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