No Such Thing As A Stupid Question

| Right | February 10, 2014

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Way South Of Average Intelligence

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | February 10, 2014

(I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

Me: “… Oh boy.”

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It’s Off Season

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | February 10, 2014

Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

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Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup

| Not Always Right | Right | February 9, 2014

Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,864 thumbs up)
  2. Paying The Price Of Stupidity (2,045 thumbs up)
  3. Credited Childsplay (2,856 thumbs up)
  4. Body Of Lies (1,800 thumbs up)
  5. His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On (1,879 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

This Bus Is Going Dune Town

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | February 9, 2014

(I am on my way home from a video game convention. I am dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda. It’s about 11:30 at night.)

Bus Driver: “That woman is a ‘Bene Gesserit’ witch. You’ve read Dune, right?”

Passenger #1: “No.”

Me: “I am the ‘Kwisatz Haderach!'”

Passenger #2: “Who said that?”

Me: “I did. Link said that.”

Passenger #2: *pause* “That’s fair.”

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