No Re-Write Access

| NY, USA | Right | July 6, 2015

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

Me: “You can re-write the password.”

Customer: “How do I re-write?”

Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

Doesn’t Quite Swear By That DVD Player

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | July 6, 2015

(I work at a store that doesn’t do refunds. If a customer wants to return an item, we can only offer to exchange it for the exact same item, or give store credit to put towards a new purchase.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this DVD player. It no longer works.”

Me: “Sure. Would you like to do a straight exchange, or would you like a store credit?”

Customer: “Straight exchange, please. I really like this DVD player, and I’d really like another one like it.”

Me: “All right, just let me see if we have any in stock.”

(I do a search on my computer, and we show zero in stock. I even check with the stockroom staff to verify this.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid to say this, but we no longer have this DVD player in stock.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m absolutely sure. There aren’t any on the shelves, the computer says we have zero, and there aren’t any in the back. We’re all tapped out, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Aw, s***!”

(Both the customer and I notice that there’s a small child next to us, and he heard the whole thing.)

Customer: “Uh, I mean poo-poo caca. Aw, poo-poo caca, I can’t believe you ran out of my favorite DVD player. Can you check to see if any other locations might still have it? I’m sorry to ask you this, but I really like this DVD player.”

Me: “Sure thing. Which location is the nearest to you?”

Customer: “Can you try [Location #1]?”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I dial the number to Location #1 to make my inquiry.)

Me: “I just got off the phone with [Location #1]. They don’t have it either.”

Customer: “Poo-poo caca. Can you try [Location #2]?”

(I phone up Location #2.)

Me: “They don’t have it either.”

Customer: “Aw, poo-poo caca. Can you try [Location #3]?”

Me: “Okay…”

(This went on for four more locations, and they all don’t have the very specific DVD player that my customer is looking for. Every time I told him the bad news, he responded with “poo-poo caca.”)

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A Legal Standing

| IN, USA | Right | July 6, 2015

(Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

Me: “Forgive me?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

(The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

(At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

(The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

(He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

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Hold Fire On That Receipt

| Finland | Right | July 6, 2015

(It’s Friday afternoon and I’m in a liquor store with my dad. We both know the guy who’s working as cashier.)

Cashier: “Do you want the receipt?”

Dad: “Yeah, I’m going to heat the sauna today.”

(Our sauna is heated with wood and we use trash paper to light the fire.)

Cashier: “Okay, have a nice weekend.”

Me: “You, too.”

(We pack dad’s bottles, and the cashier serves another customer. We are leaving when he offers a receipt to her.)

Customer: “No, thanks. I have an electric sauna.”

Not Always Right: The Comic – Character Bio: Linda

Not Always Right | Right | July 6, 2015

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Not Always Right: The Comic is a series of funny comic strips inspired by true events based on stories submitted by you, our readers! Check out our latest Comics Roundup here!

Allow us to introduce you to one of our regular employees; Linda. Her love of books and literature does not translate to a love for customers, from loathing every request for the latest Oprah book club, to the yummy mummy’s demanding the latest ‘Fifty Shades’ book. She reserves her ‘service with a smile’ for those genuine readers that know the difference between P.D. James and E.L. James.

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If you want to know more about our comics and their amazing artist Amanda Kay Baker, or you think you have the perfect bad-customer related story that can be transformed into a comic, then click here!

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