This Is How You Remind Me I Am A Jerk

(I am the same guy from the ‘This is how you remind me’ posts. My fiancé comes into the living room to tell me Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have just gotten engaged.)

Me: “I have even more of a reason to dislike Nickelback.”

Fiancé: “Why?”

Me: “Because 10-year-old me said that he was going to marry Avril, dang it!”

Fiancé: “Is that really the best thing to say to your fiancé?”

Me: “Oh, I know I could never nab her, so you’re just as good!”

Fiancé: “…thanks?”