Secret Plan Of The Homosexual Agenda

(I’m home for winter break from college. I’m gay, but haven’t yet come out to my family. I decide that it’ll be a good time. I am also visually impaired.)

Me: “Mom, Dad, [Sister], I have something to tell you.”

Mom: “Let me guess: you’re a super-villain!”

Dad: “A blind super-villain, who wants to cloak the world in darkness!”

Sister: “And your name is ‘El Blind-o!'”

Me: “Um… no. It’s just that, well—”

Sister: “So what’s your secret plan?”

Me: “I don’t have a secret plan. I’m gay. And I want [boyfriend] to come visit on New Year’s.”

Dad: “So, you’re a gay super-villain?”

Me: *sighs* “Yes.”