Quick Carjack Turnaround

(My car has just broken down on the side of the road and I am sitting in it waiting for the tow truck. I look up when someone taps my window and I roll it down manually.)

Me: “Yeah?”

Man: “All right, out of the car! Now!”

(He shoves a knife in my face. I comply and get out of the car, the window still down. He scrambles in, slams the door, and starts unsuccessfully trying to turn the engine over. I stand there watching quietly.)

Me: “Having fun?”

Man: “D*** it, why won’t it start?!”

Me: “Isn’t it funny how I was just sitting on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere?”

Man: “What?!”

Me: “My car is broken down, genius. You just carjacked a dead lemon.”

Man: *sits there staring at me*

Me: “How about this? Since you obviously can’t take my car anywhere, if you agree to just give me back the clunker and get out of here, I’ll agree to forget to mention this to the police wrecker when they show up in a few minutes to get me. Sound good?”

Man: “Uh… yeah, sure, buddy. Sounds fine.”

(He slowly gets out of the car and hands me the keys. I watch as he shoves his hands in his pockets and ambles off down the road.)

Me: “There’s a bus station about a quarter mile the way you’re going.”

Man: “Uh… yeah, thanks. Uh… good luck with that thing.”

(I got back in my car and promptly fell asleep until the tow truck arrived.)