The Mother Of All Girlfriends

(I’m in my early 20s, and tend to see less of the extended family. I’m with my mother, who at this point, is single, and looks very young for her age. One of my distant uncles has been drinking a bit and notices me.)

Drunk Uncle: *to my mother* “So, is this your new boyfriend?”

(Everybody breaks out laughing.)

Me: “Mom, if you need me, I’ll be in the car… crying.”