So Slow It Hertz, Part 2

(I’m working box office today, and it’s been a really long, busy day. After so many hours, the registers sometimes lag a bit during transactions. We’re finally slowing down a bit, and the lines are pretty much gone.)

Me: “Alright, so you wanted two tickets for Silver Linings Playbook?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I hit the buttons for her tickets, but the computer freezes up a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My computer is being slow right now.”

Customer: *gasps* “You take that back!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Everyone knows ‘slow’ is not politically correct! Your computer is ‘mentally impaired’!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a computer…”

Customer: “And I suppose next you’ll say it’s retarded?! You people are so insensitive; it makes me sick!”

(I’m speechless, so I hand her the tickets as quickly as possible.)

Me: “E-enjoy your show.”

(She takes the tickets and shakes her head, glaring at me, before walking away. The next customer comes up to me.)

Customer #2: “What the heck was she going on about?”

Me: “I don’t know, but apparently my computer is mentally impaired and not slow.”