Not How One Should Burn Off Steam

(I have four children. The oldest is seventeen, and the youngest is eight. I’ve arrived at the school my youngest is at because I was told she shouted profanities at another student.)

Vice Principal: “Hello, [My Name].”

Me: “I am so sorry that [Daughter] said those… What did she say?”

Vice Principal: “I actually don’t know. I only heard from [Gym Teacher] that [Daughter] said some very mean things to [Classmate]. He didn’t want to repeat them. [Daughter], what did you say?”

Daughter: “You’ll punish me!”

Vice Principal: “I won’t punish you any further. I just want to know what you said.”

Daughter: “We were playing volleyball in gym class, and [Classmate] kept feeding the other team.”

Vice Principal: *eyebrow rises* “Feeding?”

Daughter: “YES! [Classmate] wasn’t even trying to play and was just giving the other team points! So I called her a mother-f****** feeding c***-licking b****.”

(The vice principal and I are both shocked. I’ve never known my daughter to say anything like that before.)

Me: “[Daughter], where did you hear those words?”

Daughter: “[Oldest Son] says that when he’s playing a game of ‘Doder too’!”

Vice Principal: “Is it DotA 2? A game on the computer?”

Daughter: “Yes! I heard him shouting those words just yesterday!”

Vice Principal: *turns to me* “Do you or your son have a Steam account?”

Me: “Yes. I set one up on the computer my children use… Why?”

Vice Principal: “Is their Steam account named [my children’s Steam username]?”

Me: “Oh my goodness… Yes!”

Vice Principal: “I can vouch for where she learned that language, then.”