Naughty Present Tastes Nice

(It is late evening on Christmas Eve. My husband and I are driving back from his parents’ house, after spending the evening with his family, including his sister and her husband.)

Husband: “It’s midnight. Merry Christmas, baby.”

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

Husband: “Since it’s now technically Christmas Day, I suppose you can open your present. Check the glove compartment.”

(I open it to find a neatly wrapped, box-shaped present.)

Me: “Aw baby!”

Husband: *devilish smile* “Just to warn you, Santa has decided you were naughty this year.”

(I laugh, and open the present expecting to find an ‘adult’ toy. Instead, it is a DVD box set of a TV show.)

Me: “I guess I was the wrong kind of naughty, huh?”

Husband: “Aw, crap!”

(He immediately does a U-turn and starts speeding back towards his parents’ house. It dawns on me what has just happened, and I start laughing hysterically.)

Husband: “Forgive the speeding, but I really don’t want my sister opening my ‘gift’ to her of edible panties.”

(He suddenly gets a phone call from his sister, which he answers on loud-speaker since he is driving.)

Sister-in-law: “First of all, I don’t think I can look at you guys in the eye again until new years. Secondly, my husband says thank you for dessert.”