Dating Regina Phalange

(It’s Friday night and I have had a bad week. My cat died, I worked a double shift the night before, and I was working until nine this night. I really wanted to see my boyfriend but living an hour away and having to work again on Saturday, I understood that I wouldn’t. At one point my boyfriend had thought about coming over, but decided against it since he hadn’t brought a change of clothes or anything to entertain him while I was at work. He says his mom has invited him over, which kind of upsets me as I’m already not in a good mood. The two of us are also ‘Friends’ fans and he sends me a text as I’m leaving work.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t get on the bus! The phalanges are broken!”

Me: “Huh? What phalanges?”

Boyfriend: “The phalanges! On the bus!”

Me: “Uh huh… right.”

Boyfriend: “Seriously! Don’t get on the bus! Think of the children!”

Me: “What children?”

Boyfriend: “The children on the bus! The phalanges!”

Me: “Right, sure.”

Boyfriend: “Do you really want to risk it?”

(I stop walking to reply to the last message and as I do, I see a car I recognize to be his speeding through the parking lot. He barrels past me, doing a double take as he passes, realizing I’m standing there, he slams on the brakes. On the verge of tears I run over to the car.)

Me: “You’re here.”

Boyfriend: “D*** it! I was trying to be all cute and romantic and I didn’t expect you to leave work so early!”

Me: “I got out on time!”

Boyfriend: “I know! But still! It’s not cute and romantic anymore!”

(I lean in and give him a kiss.)

Me: “It’s totally cute and romantic. And just what I needed.”