Cannibal Hitler Strikes Without Warning

(Knowing my fascination with the music of Shostakovich, a friend recommended a new biography of him to me. I was deeply moved by the book. After I’ve read it, I’m in a favorite bookstore.)

Random Man: “I really liked his interpretation of the Leningrad Symphony.”

Me: “Are you talking about the Anderson biography?”

Random Man: “Yes! Did you like it?”

Me: “Yes, but it has ruined me for normal interaction. Someone was wondering the other day if it was okay to feed chicken to her chickens and I started citing the punishments for cannibalism of live people versus corpses because of the book. But I agree. It’s a great book. And he does a great job of giving different opinions. Like the invasion theme…”

(The man immediately starts tapping the drumbeat for that theme on the counter. I sing the melody for a while…)

Me: “If you listen to the first six minutes, you can hear music from the invasion theme, so it’s plausible that it was inspired by pre-Hitler totalitarianism.”

Random Man: “I’ll listen to it with that in mind.”

(I now realize I’ve been talking about cannibalism and dictatorship for several minutes with a complete stranger.)

Me: “Yeah, I’m no longer capable of normal conversation.”