Zip In And Zit Out

(I’m in the office when a woman and her two children, a boy and girl, come in. The girl is here for a background check so she can work at a local grocer. The woman and her son take a seat in the small waiting area, which is pretty much in front of my desk. As I begin typing the information, I overhear this.)

Woman: “Honey, what’s that on your nose?”

Son: “I dunno, a bump?”

Woman: “It’s a zit! Here, let me squeeze it.”

Son: “What! No, the last time you did, blood came out!”

Woman: “Just hold still. Let me pop it.”

(At this point, I’m typing frantically, not wanting them to stay here any longer than they have to. The girl acts nonchalant about the whole thing, pretty much ignoring them.)

Son: “But it hurts! And what if pus comes out?”

Woman: “It ain’t gonna hurt you; it’s just yellow stuff. Now, hold still…”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a bathroom right up the stairs behind you.”

Woman: “Oh, thanks, honey!”

(I handed the girl her paperwork, and they headed upstairs to the bathroom. It’s a one-person bathroom, but all three fit in at the same time. However, they decided to keep the door open so the WHOLE BUILDING heard their dialogue on popping the boy’s zit. When they left, I saw the boy with a huge crater on his nose and pus leaking out. This was probably the grossest thing I’ve ever had to witness!)