Yum, Bible Ham Paste

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(I use to work in a deli at a grocery story. This story takes place there.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want the extra cheap-a** ham.”

Me: “How thin do you want that?”

Customer: “Bible-paper thin.”

Me: “Um…ok?”

(It should be noted that slicing the “extra cheap-a** ham” too thin results not in ham, but in a ham-like paste)

Me: “Here you go.”

Customer: “You call that thin? You obviously aren’t a religious man, I can see.”

Me: “Ok…”

(I ended up giving him about $3.00 worth of ham paste and he walked away happy, so I guess it all worked out.)

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