You’ve Lost Your Marbles

(I am in the teacher’s staff room during break. Another teacher comes in and sits down on the same sofa as me. She practically goes pale.)

Me: “Are you all right?”

Teacher: *shaking her head* “I… there’s something on the sofa.”

Me: “What? Get up and let’s see.”

Teacher: *shaking her head more* “No.”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Teacher: “I…”

(I lean in.)

Teacher: “I… I’VE S**T MYSELF!”

(She jumps up screaming that she needs to get to a toilet, but not sure how she can without running into students. I stare in disbelief for a moment before looking down at the seat. I start to laugh.)

Me: “[Teacher]! [TEACHER]! It was just a marble.”

(She stops jumping around and stares at the marble for a second before joining me in the laughter.)

Teacher: “That’s a relief!”

(Break ended ten minutes later, and as we stepped outside, every student there screamed “I’VE S*** MYSELF!”)