You’ve Heard Of A Soft Open, But Have You Heard Of…

I work in an old-time five-and-ten-cent store. I have left for the day and am walking to my car.

Customer: “Are you still open?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we have closed.”

Customer: “Is it a soft close or hard close?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we’re closed!”

Customer: “Yes, but is it a hard close or soft close?”

Me: *Thinking* “CLOSED is CLOSED!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the manager is grabbing her stuff to leave for the night!”

I’d never heard of a soft close before.