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You’ve Got This One Gar-licked!

, , , , , | Related | January 27, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.


My mum and I live together. There’s a global health crisis, and we’ve been potentially in contact with someone who tested positive, so we have to self-isolate for ten days. I’ve checked all the stuff, and apparently, we’re not able to get tests because we’ve got no symptoms; it’s a stupid rule, considering you can be asymptomatic with it, but what do I know? One symptom is losing your sense of taste and smell.

We are day four into isolation, and Mum has to open the giant jar of garlic puree she panic-bought but can’t, so she enlists me to open it. After lots of grunting, copious swearing, hitting the lid, and attempting the tea-towel technique, we finally get the jar open by her holding the body of it and me using both hands to unscrew the top. We cheer! But then we fall into a coughing fit, eyes streaming, as we’re both smacked in the face with the very pungent smell of garlic.

Me: “I’m gonna smell garlic forever! Oh, God!”

Mum: “At least we know we’ve not got symptoms!”

Disclaimer: I do not condone panic-buying; please do not panic-buy. I’m just saying my mum’s panic-buying of a single giant jar of garlic actually… paid off. A little. That was a SINGLE jar, though, not fifty rolls of toilet paper.