You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4

Me: “Thank you for calling customer care. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “F*** you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?

Customer: “You heard me. F*** you. F*** you and your stupid f***ing god-d**** company. You are all a bunch of pieces of s***, and I hope you rot in h***.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry you feel that way. Now, if you continue to talk like that, I will have to disconnect this call. However, I don’t want to do that. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah. You can give me back my god-d**** money.”

Me: “Okay, sir. Let me look up your account. What’s your first and last name?”

Customer: “My name is ‘Give Me My Money.'”

Me: “Sir, I am trying to process the refund for you. However, without your name, I cannot locate your account. Now, what’s your first and last name?”

Customer: “It’s [Name]. You guys are nothing but a bunch of thieves and scammers. Does it feel good that you know that you’re going to h***?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but please do not speak to me in such a way. The next time I will disconnect the call.”

(I check for his name.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I was not able to locate your account.”

Customer: “What? That’s f****** bulls***! You better give me my god-d**** money back right f****** now, or I swear to God I’m gonna f****** bomb you and your family!”

Me: “Now, sir, threats like that can be taken to authorities as all these calls are recorded. What system did you use?”

Customer: “I’m not going to tell you that. That’s stupid. You know my name, so you should see what I have purchased.”

Me: “Sir, I apologize I was not able to find your name. However, we have multiple products with multiple prices. If you can give me the product name, I can locate the account’s history and see if there is a transaction under your name.”

Customer: “It’s the [Product].”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have a product with that name.”

Customer: “What the f*** do you mean that you don’t have a product with that name?! I knew it was a f***ing scam! I’m out $700 dollars now. F*** you and your f***ing company! Kiss my a**!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have anything priced like that either. What company are you calling?”

Customer: [Company].

Me: “Sir, that’s not our company. Our company name is [Our Company].”

Customer: “Bulls***!” *pauses* “Oh, whoops. I do have the wrong number. Sorry about that. You have a nice day.”