You’ve Been Brandied A Problem Customer

(I work at a small local store that specializes in multiple types of gourmet booze [which basically translates to any brand and type you wouldn’t find in a normal grocery store]. One day I get that customer we all know and love: a barely 20-something-year-old with no ID, who can’t understand why we won’t sell any booze to him. He gets verbal, but after my manager steps in and basically tells him to either produce ID or talk to the police, the guy leaves. Fast forward to my shift the next day.)

Customer: “Bottle of [Expensive Brandy], please.”

(I look up and am taken aback to see it’s the same guy again.)

Me: “Do you have your ID this time?”

Customer: “It’s in my car. What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Me: “Sir, we went over this yesterday. If we think you’re underage, we need to see your ID.”

Customer: “…D*** it. I didn’t think you were smart enough to remember me!”

(He storms out and my shift continues without further drama. Fast forward to next weekend and…)

Customer: “Hey, you got any [Same Expensive Brandy] in?”

(Yep, same guy, except this time he’s wearing a hat that’s pulled down low to shadow his face.)

Me: “That depends; do you have your ID with you this time?”

Customer: “I’ve never been in here before!”

Me: “Sir, you spoke to me less than seven days ago.”

Customer: “…you still remember that?”

Me: “It’s hard to forget you when you keep coming in here and trying the same thing, over and over again. Not to mention that, even if I didn’t, the rules aren’t going to change. You want your brandy, you need ID.”

(More cursing and swearing as the guy stormed out again. Later on the store owner got a complaint letter saying he needed to fire the “smart-a**es who keep ruining everyone’s weekend.”)