Youth Got A Lotta Nerve!

| Working | July 11, 2017

(Our local mall has a “youth escort policy” where kids under 18 have to be accompanied by adults after 6 pm. This story takes place when I am a freshman in high school, on a shopping trip with my friends as well as someone’s mom.)

Mom: “I’d like to get a coffee. Do you think they’d mind if I went into that shop right there while you looked at those scarves?”

Friend: “Oh, of course not.”

(Note that while she is in the shop she is no more than 15 feet away from us. We are giggling and trying on scarves.)

Security Guard: “What do you ladies think you’re doing?”

Friend #1: *very nervous* “Uh… um, looking at these scarves?”

Friend #2: *calmly* “Oh, we’re just trying these on. I hope you don’t mind. We can put them back if you’d like. Sorry to be a bother—”

Security Guard: “No! Don’t talk to me like that; you know full well what you’re doing, and I don’t like it.”

Friend #2: “I’m sorry, sir, um—”

Security Guard: *to his walkie-talkie* “Hello, we’ve got some girls who are trying to pull some monkey business with this scarf stand—”

Me: “Wait, no, sir! I’m sorry; her mom is in the coffee shop! We can show you, here. See? She’s coming out now!”

Mom: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Security Guard: “Well, they are in violation of our youth escort policy! They could be up to no good! You should do a better job of keeping track of your kids!”

Mom: “Get a life, a**-hole.”

(We all stand, gaping at her nerve.)

Mom: “You don’t need to kick us out. We’re leaving. Come on, girls, let’s go.”

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