You’s Gotta Be Kidding Me

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I forgot it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s okay, I can look it up from an email or phone number.”

Customer: “I can’t remember either of those. Just look up my name. It’s Jane Smith.”

Me: “It’d really be better if you could look up your email or phone number.”

Customer: “Why? Just type in Jane Smith.”

Me: “The customer database covers all of the US and Canada, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, there can’t be that many of me!”

I type in ‘Jane Smith’, hit enter, and turn the screen around. No sensitive information is on display except the name.

Me: “Behold, all of the you’s.”

I start scrolling down.

Customer: “That’s… a lot of Jane Smiths in North America.”

Me: *Still scrolling.* “Ma’am, this has already been filtered down to this state.”

Customer: “Oh…”

She then rattles off her phone number from memory, as if she hadn’t been suffering from memory loss just a few seconds ago…