You’re A 100% Chance Of Being An Idiot

(I am a teacher providing a tour for parents of new students in the next year. There are two in the group who are very vocal. The atmosphere is pretty casual, and parents are free to ask questions whenever they like.)

Parent #1: “Excuse me? How often is there a nurse in the school?”

Me: “We have several first aiders who are present at all times, so immediate care can be given. As for the nurse, we have two who tend to switch. Thursday are usually their days off. Generally we have both on hand with tasks needing more involvement, like shots and and lice checks.”

Parent #2: “Shots as in vaccines? Oh, no, no, no. My son won’t be doing those. It’s so dangerous.”

Parent #1: “Yes. How could people be so careless! Did you know that the MMR vaccine has a 100% chance of causing autism?! I refuse to left my son be a r****d!”

Me: “I guess I’m a r****d, then.”

(Neither parents looked too happy with my retort, and one of them pulled their student out of the school. The other, however, attended school and gladly had his vaccinations. Apparently there was some words exchanged between his mother and father, to which I assume the father won.)