You’re Too H2-Slow For Their Standards

, , , | Right | July 6, 2018

(I work in a pool supply store. Like every business, our hours are posted at the entrance of the store. We are scheduled to be at work 15 minutes before open, as our only pre-opening tasks are to counter the registers and check email. It is currently 17 minutes before open as I pull into the parking lot and walk up to unlock and enter my store. A customer in the parking lot starts walking beside me to the door.)

Customer: “Can you test this water for me?”

Me: “I can once I’m set up. Should be about ten minutes.”

Customer: “I need it done now; I have things to do today! Do you know how much money I spend here? I guess I’m going to your competitor, since you obviously don’t want to help me.”

(I let him walk off without saying a word, knowing full well he’ll be back because all of our competitors are currently closed. Sure enough, he comes back about twenty minutes after we open. My assistant begins testing his pool water.)

Customer: “Let me ask you something. If you owned this store, would you still have treated me like you did earlier?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I have to set up the store in order to be able to assist customers.”

Customer: “Bulls***. You just didn’t want to be bothered. You were too busy drinking your coffee.”

My Assistant: “Sir, we have to put money in the registers before we can open.”

Customer: “You don’t have to count money in order to test my pool water! I spend a ton of money here. Do you think I’m going to rob you?!”

Me: *instead of continuing this pointless exchange, I hand him my business card* “Sir, here is my card, with our corporate number on the back, if you wish to complain further.”

Customer: “I don’t need that. They probably don’t care any more than you do. You need to learn how to run a business. I just don’t understand the youth of today. You’re all lazy!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I remained quiet from there on and let my assistant finish the sample test. The guy left without purchasing anything, mumbling under his breath about my “poor” service. The two customers in line behind him started laughing at him as soon as he left the store. One of those customers was a regular, and he later brought us donuts as a “little something for having to deal with jerks like that.”)

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