You’re Only Free To Leave

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to return this. It works fine. Just don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “Okay, let me just take a quick at the receipt see how you paid. Oh… I’m sorry, sir, this is three months outside of the return policy. I won’t be able to take it back. Is it defective?”

Customer: “What? No. So? It works. Where does it say the return policy?”

Me: “Here, there, there, and it was emailed to you. I can’t take it back being so outside the return policy and it being opened.”

Customer: “I am never shopping here again!”

Me: “Okay… sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “I will accept a free store credit for the trouble so I can buy a charger.”

Me: “No, I can’t give you a free store credit; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “This is just ridiculous! I can’t believe I can’t get free stuff here!”