You’re Not The Quartermaster

| Working | December 12, 2015

(Note that in the UK, it’s common for sweets to be asked for in ‘quarters’, short for ‘quarter of a pound’, since they used to be sold that way; however, many shops have now converted to metric, including this one. I’m used to using imperial, and only know rough conversions, but my mum has asked me to buy 500g of sweets, which I know is a little over 1 lb.)

Me: “Is the price on the dolly mix per 100g?”

Shop Assistant: “Yeah”

Me: “Okay, could I have 500g, please?”

Shop Assistant: *stares blankly at me for a few moments* “So… is that five quarters?”

Me: *stares* “Umm… a little over 1 lb… but I think the scales weigh in grams, since that’s the pricing. But, if you like, just 1lb will do.”

Shop Assistant: *stares blankly again* “So… how many quarters is that?”

Me: “…Four.”

Shop Assistant: *stares again as if I’ve grown another head before suddenly shouting* “[Manager]!”

(The manager appears a few moments later and she explains what I asked for.)

Manager: “So you wanted 500g?”

Me: *thinking we’re finally getting somewhere* “Yes, please.”

Manager: *stares a moment then turns to the shop assistant* “Just weigh out 500g on the scales. It’ll say 500.”

Shop Assistant: *weighs out four quarters, looking at one part of the display and ignoring another until the last moment* “Is 513 grams okay?”


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