You’re Not Going To Phone In The Customer Service

(A customer asks if she can pull up a coupon on her phone. I tell her that she can and that I’d be happy to show her how. She pulls her phone out of her sweaty breasts and tries to hand it to me. I tell her we’re not supposed to handle customers’ phones. “Plus,” I think to myself, “I am NOT touching your nasty boob-sweat phone.” This conversation follows:)

Me: “Just go to our website.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “Open your web browser and type in [Website].”

Customer: “How do I open my web browser?”

Me: “I’m not sure, ma’am; I don’t have the same type of phone as you do.”

Customer: *huff* “So, is it the email button?”

Me: “No, like [Browser #1] or [Browser #2].”

Customer: *huff* “Well, I don’t know where that is or how to get there. You do it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know how to work your phone.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “It’s not my phone.”