You’re Not A Stickler, You Just Wear Your Goody Two Shoes

It’s late afternoon. I’m restocking shelves near the entrance when a barefoot couple strolls in. Barefoot, as in shoes in hand, toes proudly on tile.

Me: “Excuse me, but could you please wear your shoes while in the store?”

Woman Customer: “We’ve been walking all day. You don’t mind if we just air out while we shop.”

She said it as a statement. She wasn’t asking.

Me: “Uh… I’m afraid it’s a health and safety thing; you do need to keep your shoes on.”

Man Customer: “But our feet are clean! We just want to cool off. Don’t be such a stickler.”

Me: “This isn’t Bondi, and those aren’t beach towels, they’re onions.”

Woman Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re making a big deal out of this. You can’t stop us! You don’t own the floor!”

Me: “The store literally owns the floor. Now you can either put the shoes back on, or we’ll have to start charging you rent for floor space.”

They left, shoeless and grumbling.