If You’re Michael Jordan Then I’m Bugs Bunny

, , , , , | Working | June 19, 2017

(I am the prospective customer. The employee in question is either working too hard, or not hard enough.)

Me: *answering phone at home* “Hello.”

Telemarketer: *heavy accent* “Hello, my name is Michael Jordan and I’m offering duct cleaning services.”

Me: “Michael, the spokesperson deals not paying enough after your b-ball career?”

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  • Carrie C

    Because no one else in the world can ever be called Michael Jordan. Ever.

    • Flami

      Or Stephen King or Will Smith or Michael Jackson…

    • Mickeyten

      I’ve got a coworker named David Bowie. No relation.

      • Ian Rennie

        I’d be amazed if he was, as Bowie’s real name was David Jones.

        • Alexander Rubin

          Not related to the Welsh immigrant to Sydney, David Jones, who founded David Jones Limited in Australia

          • meankid

            How about Davey Jones of the Monkees?

      • Gnomer Denois

        But is he related to Jim Bowie?

    • Andrea

      Seriously! There’s even an actor named Michael B. Jordan.

    • I think I went to school with someone named Michael Jordan. And Tim Allen.

      • Flami

        My friend went to school with someone named Conan O’Brien.

      • TychaBrahe

        Fortunately no one really knows Lauren Pomerantz, the Lladros singer, but if you search for me online, you find all her albums on Amazon. And she once got credited for a political donation I made.

  • Lord Circe

    Or it could be someone who really is named Michael Jordan offering a legitimate service. Now, if he had been offering basketball lessons or public appearances, then I would say it is definitely a scam, but duct cleaning? At most, it might be a foreign worker who changed their name when they got here to fit in better, and picked Michael Jordan because it is a famous name.

    • Mechwarrior

      Or the son of immigrants who wanted their children to have English-sounding names in the hope that it would help them assimilate better.

    • Harold Wagner

      It’s a scam, and he chose the name of a famous basketball star. At least it’s a real name unlike some email scams which choose ridiculously fake ones.

      • Gnomer Denois

        It’s not necessarily a scam. A company I worked for dealt with third party support in other countries quite often who supported our customers as well, and they would often pick the name of a famous person to use because it’s easier for US Americans to pronounce. People immigrating may decide to do similar, I had a TA that gave us his “English” name to use.

  • Ian Rennie

    It’s a very common first name and a quite common surname.

  • Ladya Aloe

    Michael Bolton?

  • I’m super calm bro

    And? are your ducts cleaned?

  • Okay, I hate Telemarketers as much as the next guy… but this guy could have been legitimately called Michael Jordan….

  • If this is a common reaction, it sounds like Telemarketer’s name may have gotten them into a few jams.

    • Shouldernubs

      Are you trying to make a space jam pun?

      • That was my intent; I trust it worked, as you recognized it?

        • Shouldernubs

          Lol well I do appreciate the attempt.

  • Denton Young

    There are probably 10,000 Americans named Michael Jordan. It’s probably a huge hassle to the 9,999 who aren’t the GOAT.

    • 4302

      The goat?

      • Gnomer Denois

        Greatest Of All Time

        • Mike

          But Brian Scalabrine is the Greatest Of All Time.

        • 4302

          Thanks, now I get it.

      • Denton Young

        *G*reatest *O*f *A*ll *T*ime

        • 4302

          Oh okay, thanks. I know nothing of sports except some very specific baseball stuff. Mostly concerning Satchel Paige.

    • ArchStanton75

      Perhaps this worker is the *G*reatest *O*f *A*ll *T*elemarketers!

  • AsaeAmpan

    Gods people who think there’s only one person named something is worse than those who think they know what everyone else is doing in the world. Seriously how damn hard is it to believe that someone got named michael jordan since the guy showed up?

  • ArchStanton75

    Wow. OP is so edgy and clever. Really stuck it to that lazy worker. So worth it posting to this site. Cool story, bro.

  • David Sandiford

    I read a news article once about how people with famous names are never believed. There was a Harry Potter who couldn’t book hotel rooms because people would just laugh and put the phone down, or worse, he’d arrive at the hotel and they’d say “Sorry, we didn’t actually make the booking as we thought you were joking. There was also a guy who got arrested because the police officer who questioned him refused to believe that a real person might actually be called James Bond.

  • Jennifer Williams

    I worked for Michael Jackson, as an assistant.

    Not *the* Michael Jackson, obviously. But goodness gracious it was hard to get anyone to take me seriously after I said his name.

    He was 50+ years old 10 years ago, and he refused to alter his name to not be confused, and stood his ground that “It’s a common name, he isn’t the only one!”

  • meankid

    When I was a tot, my mom was in a minor car accident and the responding officer was named Michael Jackson

  • Medusa Jordan

    There are 2 other people registered at my dentist with my name. My first name is a lot less common than Michael (though much more common than Medusa).

    I once worked in the same building as Charlie Parker and Neil Young.