You’re Forked

The phone rings and I pick it up.

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I was here yesterday; did you see me?”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what you look like, sir. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “I was here yesterday and I left something behind.”

Me: “Well, maybe we have it here. What did you leave behind, sir?”

Customer: “My spoon and fork. Did you see it?”

Me: “Did you bring your own personal spoon and fork?”

Our cutlery does not match and is not counted; there is virtually no way we could identify an odd fork.

Customer: “Yes! Did you see it?”

Me: “Our cutlery is all different, sir. We couldn’t identify yours. You’re welcome to come and choose a spoon and fork from our tray.”

Customer: “I just want to know if you saw my spoon and fork.”

Me: “Well, do you know where you left it, sir?”

Customer: “On the table.”

Me: “Well, we probably took it for one of ours, sir. Do you want to come and see our cutlery?”

Customer: “Did you see my spoon and fork?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. You have a nice day, sir.”